Simply Sonic
by RabidSonicFan
Summary: What ya' see is what ya' get! Though pretty simple as of the first chapter (geddit), this ongoing series will take inspiration from many of the various Sonic continuities, following the lighthearted adventures of Sonic and his friends as they take on various foes (especially the notorious Doctor Eggman). Current Episode: The Obligatory Christmas Special


Greetings, everyone! It's your friendly neighborhood author/narrator here, to wish you all a pre-emptive Happy Holidays! But not everyone is going to happy during the Christmas Season…!

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><p><em>Meanwhile, in the Base of Dr. Eggman…<em>

The rotund doctor sighs as he paces back-and-forth through his desolate headquarters. "Bah, humbug…!" he growled.

Hearing his despair, Crabmeat [one of his faithful badniks] waddled into the room, "What's the matter, doctor?" he asked, clasping his mechanical claws together, "Isn't Christmas supposed to be a… 'Jolly' time of year…?"

"Well, I don't _feel_ jolly!" Eggman grumbled, continuing his rigorous pacing, "Every year at Christmas, I spend it all alone! You know what that means, _right_…?!"

"You are emotionally hollow because you long for the companionship of friends and family…?"

"Of course not, you idiot; if I'm alone, I can't get any presents!"

"Of course," Crabmeat mumbled, "How foolish of me…"

"What's the point…?" Eggman sighed, "I might as well just turn in…"

"Wait a minute, doctor…!"

"_Yes_…?"

"What if you could obtain presents, _without_ having any friends to give them to you…?!"

"… Go on."

"People are still 'shopping' for presents, right…? Well, why don't you stop by one of South Island's shopping complexes and while they're in the act, BOOM, just steal their possessions!"

"That… is… BRILLIANT!" Eggman exclaims, swinging Crabmeat around in celebration, "I was going to tear you down and use your spare parts to repair my toaster, but I guess I'll keep you after all!"

"I am deeply flattered by your sentiment, sir."

"Excellent…!" Eggman grins, "Let's get to work!"

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><p>Now, we finally focus on our true-blue hero, Sonic the Hedgehog, who is currently occupying one of several gaming stores in the Central City Mall…<p>

"… And one Nintega DreamCube, please!" Sonic said, nervously tapping his finger on the counter.

"Now, let's just see here…" the clerk mumbled, as he sifted through several boxes, "Ah! You're just in luck; we have one more in stock!"

"_Sweet…!_" Sonic rubs his hands together, "Soon, my precious, you shall be all_ mine!_"

The box is then promptly put into a plastic bag, which he then grabs; whistling a jaunty tune as he walks out of the store.

"Hey, _Sonic…!_" exclaimed a certain pink hedgehog around the corner…

"Uh oh…"

This aforementioned pink hedgehog is, of course, Sonic's #1 fangirl, Amy Rose; who runs right up to him and gives him a big hug. "Fancy meeting you here…!"

"Likewise…!"

"Doing some Christmas shopping?"

"… Kinda."

"I've been doing some myself! See…?" Amy holds up the six or so shopping bags she's carrying.

"That's, uh… pretty impressive, Amy!"

Amy giggles. "Well, it _is_ the season of giving!"

"Yeah…!" Sonic scratches the back of his head, looking down in his bag, "Uh… _Right…_"

Suddenly, a certain voice booms through the mall's loudspeakers…

"_Greetings, holiday shoppers; I've interrupted your regularly-scheduled muzak to bring you an important announcement…!_"

Right on cue, Eggman bursts through the skylight in his Eggmobile, holding a microphone in his hand, "Before you leave this mall, you will take all of the gifts that you have purchased today… And _GIMME_!"

"YEAH…?" Sonic yelled, gently putting his bag on the ground before he runs up to the second floor, "Or _what?_"

"Hmph…" Eggman chuckled to himself, bemused, "You asked!"

Eggman takes out a switch and presses it, causing a giant mechanical Christmas tree to rise through the center of the mall; including menacing, red eyes for added effect. "_BEHOLD,_ THE GIFT-GIVER 5000!"

Sonic raises his eyebrow. "_Gift-Giver…?_"

"Yeah, because it's giving _your_ gifts to _me_; pretty clever, huh…?"

"Pretty _lame_ is more like it!"

"Oh _yeah…?!_ _Well…!_ Let's see _you_ come up with a better name!"

"The Present Pilferer, the Holiday Highjacker, the Merry Moonlighter…"

"Huh, those _are_ better… Still gonna kill ya', though! _ATTACK_, MY GIFT-GIVER…!"

The entire mall briefly rumbles, as giant tentacle-esque roots burst out of the ground. The roots immediately lunge towards Sonic, who effortlessly dodges every attack.

"Is that _all?!_"

The roots slightly change shape, turning into vacuum-like apparatuses.

"I've _really_ gotta learn to stop saying that…!"

Acting like the vacuums they are, they start to pull Sonic in, despite his best attempt to fight against the intense suction.

"_SONIC!_" Amy yelled, "LET THE VACUUMS PULL YOU IN!"

Sonic gives Amy a weird look. "But if I do that…" he grins, "I can take it out from the inside!"

Sonic holds onto a pole, so that he can smack-talk his opponent face-to-face. "Hey, Gift-Giver…!" Sonic smirks, curling into a ball, "Here's a gift from _me!_" He then spindashes into one of the vacuums, using his momentum to bash away at the mechanical tree from the inside.

Eggman grasps his 'stache in fear. "NO, NO, NO…!"

Sonic then tears through the center of the robot; uncurling and performing a stylish landing as the mechanical menace falls down. "Game over, Eggman…! Now, go home!"

"Fine…" Eggman sighs, "I guess that'll be punishment enough…"

As Eggman flies away, Sonic looks a tad remorseful, as he glances over at his bag from earlier.

"Wait a second, doc…!"

"Wha-?"

Sonic takes the DreamCube box out of the bag, running over to Eggman. "Here…!" Sonic then hands it over to him.

"A present… for _me…?_ After all I've done…?"

"Hey, it's the spirit of the season," Sonic said, giving a thumbs-up, "Just never steal any of our presents again, or else I'm actually sending you to jail next time."

"I'm not making any promises!" Eggman exclaimed, flying off, "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!"

"What a jerk…" Sonic muttered, "… Good thing I just gave him the box instead of the actual game console. _MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!_"


End file.
